Tag Archives: coaching

Three Shifts That Change EVERYTHING!!!

WhenYouChangeTheWayYouLookAt Things_DyerChange

In Coaching, a shift indicates a transition from one place or position to another. A Coach can create an environment for a shift to occur, but only the Coachee can actually make the shift. In my coaching, I have observed 3 shifts that make a world of difference for clients. And while a shift will mean different things to different people, overall it tends to feel like wholeness and self-acceptance, which are vital to happiness. I share the below tips in hopes that readers benefit from the information below and it moves them towards an increased state of happiness, harmony and wholeness. The three Shifts are:

  1. From Roles to Relationships: Oftentimes, we see ourselves in roles – Wife, Husband, Supervisor, Employee, etc.  Roles indicate duties  – things we should do, would do and could do. Yet these roles also signify relationships and connections – things we get to do, choose to do and want to do. Seeing roles as relationships aligns with one’s values and speaks to who they are.  As a person gains a greater awareness of themselves, roles and accomplishments seem less urgent and they in turn just want to find and enjoy who they are and what they contribute to their relationships. (Gibson, 2016).
  2. From Distraction to Decision: Choice Overload Theory observes that too many options lead to adverse consequences like decreased motivation to choose or a greater chance for dissatisfaction once a choice is made. Today, individuals have an array of choices when it comes to choosing careers, places to live, things to do and places to go (Scheibehenne et. al., 2010). So many choices can be a distraction to the key question – ‘What outcome do you want?’ When one shifts from distraction to decision, they gain focus – and the minute we block out distractions and make decisions, whatever we focus on will inevitably be the best choice.
  3. From Extrinsic to Intrinsic: In his New York Times Best-Seller, Drive (2009), Daniel Pink argues that the secrets to high performance and satisfaction rest in the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world. This assertion challenges popular misconceptions that money, position and other’s opinions drive us to greater achievement. By connecting with our intrinsic motivations, we make decisions that align with who we are and who we aspire to be, not external influences which can lead to living someone else’s life and achieving someone else’s dreams.

The common theme amongst each shift is the need to get clear on who we are. In the words of John Whitmore (2009), “Self – Awareness leads to Self – Confidence leads to Self – Fulfillment.” Now, GET GOING!!!!

References:

Coach U. (2005). The Coach U Personal and Corporate Coach Training Handbook. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Gibson, L. (2016, April). Your Three Life Goals. Tidewater Women. P.19.

Pink, D. (2009). Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. New York: Riverhead Publishing, Inc.

Scheibehenne, B., Greifeneder, R., & Todd, P. M. (2010). Can There Ever Be Too Many Options? A Meta-Analytic Review of Choice Overload. Journal of Consumer Research, 37(3), 409-425.

Whitmore, J. (2009). Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose – The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership, 4th Edition. Boston, MA: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.

Being a Bridge Builder

One of the most important roles of a leader is building and fostering relationships with colleagues and within work groups and teams. The below story provides a little insight into the importance of being the bridge builder:

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in many years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed for mutual benefit. Then, one day things fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on the older brother’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work,” said the man.

“Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?”

“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll do him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence – an 8-foot fence – so I won’t need to see his place anymore.”

The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother bought the necessary supplies and then went off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

At sunset, when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped open.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge… a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all – and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. “No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother.

“I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”

Woten (2014) notes the following as keys to building strong teams – we  will explore each key point in detail in the coming week’s posts,  they are: 1) Fostering high levels of trust and support 2) Establishing/ emphasizing clarity of Purpose and Goals 3) Instilling a sense of identity, commitment and respect 4) Facilitating clear and open communication and 5) Encouraging creativity, innovation, diversity, focus and discipline.

Stay tuned!!!

References:

Woten, M. B. (2014). Team Building in Nursing Care: Implementing. CINAHL Nursing Guide.

Why ‘Soft Skills’ Are Dangerous

SelfAwareness-CoveySoft skills are skills like work ethic, conflict resolution, entrepreneurship/ innovation, creativity, effective communication and presentation. They differ from hard skills which are easily taught, evaluated and measured (i.e. – interdisciplinary knowledge, competence, practical knowledge, experience).

Soft skills are important in building relationships and fostering a spirit of collaboration which is essential to achieving team results. Murti (2014) suggests that in India, there is a critical soft skills shortage among business graduates. The study conducted found that standard business programs were of no real use to companies when essential personal skills – attitude towards work, character, self-reflection and individual qualities – were absent.

A 2008 survey conducted by the German Chamber of Commerce, found that when employers were questioned regarding the top ten most desirable employees skills, eight of ten were soft skills. In the complete listing of the top twenty skills, only five were hard skills (Pennington, 2013).

Organizations obviously want soft skills. However, they want employees to ‘chase the carrot’ more. In an interview, (that I have summarized, without leaving out key points) an employer explained, ‘ We recruit the best and brightest from high schools and universities. When they get here, we place a carrot in front of them. For this carrot they will give not 100%, but 140%. Only a few will get it, but that’s o.k. We know we will have to replace them around age 40-45, because they will be burnt out. – until then, we want them to give us all they’ve got’ (Pennington, 2013).

Soft skills lead to self awareness, some managers shutter to think, ‘What happens when the employee decides the cost of chasing the carrot is too high, stops running and considers all of their other options?’

References:

Murti, A.B. (2014). Why Soft Skills Matter. The IUP Journal of Soft Skills.8(3).pp. 32-36.

Pennington, G. (2013). Soft Skills In The Business and Personal World. EFMD Global Focus.7(3). pp. 52-55.

Best Leadership Advise for 2015

 

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As we reflect on the great successes and opportunities for improvement discovered in 2014, let us commit to growth, learning and continued pursuits towards excellence in 2015. Consider the following advice. It will improve your leadership, your relationships and your personal well-being. Happy New Year!!

  1. Make time to think. Thinking must be intentional and a priority. It should not be something we do when we have the time. We must make (take) the time to think!! In his book, How Successful People Think (2009), John C. Maxwell interviews Chick-fil-A, President, Dan Cathy. Cathy, a highly successful multi-millionaire, shared that he had a ‘thinking schedule’.  He scheduled half a day every two weeks and one full day every month and 2 – 3 full days every year specifically for the purpose of thinking. Having these personal operational pauses allows us to maintain focus, clarity and resolve about key and important things vital to winning – in business, as professionals, personally, spiritually and within all relationships.
  2. Leader, know (and align) thyself!! Before a leader takes on the task of aligning the organization, building, managing and leading teams and corporations, he or she must first align themselves. As leaders, our strengths are our team’s strengths, and our weaknesses are our team’s weaknesses. Leaders shape the vision, the values, the objectives and culture of the organization. Yet, many have never taken the time to sit down and write out their own personal vision, mission, goals, values and non-negotiable beliefs. Getting clear in this area provides clarity in all dealings (Ramsey, 2011). Clarity breeds consistency, which establishes dependability and trust, resulting in more productive, happier, resilient organizations and teams.
  3. Embrace and accept that you (and your leadership) are unique. In the Power of You (2013), Chris Michaels, makes a keen and profound observation when he writes, “There’s never going to be another you!! God made just one. Nobody talks like you. Nobody thinks as you do….. You’re an original piece f work, created by a Master Artist.”

I can only be me. No one else on this planet will ever have my voice, my thoughts, my perspectives or prerogatives. These things make me – perfectly unique. You can only be you. Give the gift of you to your team, to your loved ones, to the world  – EVERYDAY!!

References:

Maxwell, J. C. (2009). How Successful People Think: Change your thinking, change your life. New York: Center Street.

Michaels, C. (2013). The Power of You: How to live your authentic, exciting, joy-filled life now! New York: Penguin Group.

Ramsey, D. (2011). EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches. New York: Howard Books.

Leadership Involves Common Goals

leaders-createmoreleaders

In his book, EntreLeadership, Dave Ramsey (2011) shares how, “Goals are visions and dreams with work clothes on.” He goes on to observe how goals force practical steps into our lives which make our dreams come true. Goals help make great leaders, teams and organizations. Essentially, goals convert vision into energy, motion, excitement – ACTION!!

In the previous blog, Leadership Occurs In Groups, we note that leadership requires more than one person. In order to lead, someone must be following, this is not a permanent state of being as the mark of a truly great leader is that they will develop more leaders, not more followers.

Understanding that leaders have groups and that they lead these groups towards common goals, thus creating teams. Leaders ensure teams achieve big common goals by first recognizing their support to their teams is vital. Teams must feel and see their leader’s commitment in everything they do. Words are not enough, goals are about ACTION!! Second, leaders must ensure their teams receive adequate training  and coaching support so the learn how to operate effectively! Just assigning someone to a team does not make them a an active, productive member of that team. Training is one part – it expands the team’s perspective on its roles, and builds cohesion from the shared experience. Coaching ‘gels’ the team together by facilitating the building of a shared vision, mission and goals unique to the specific team. Coaching also helps teams gain clarity on not just their role but how their team unit fits and aligns directly with the overall organization mission and objectives (Taplin, Foster and Shortell, 2013).

Shared goals create unity. Leaders inspire their teams to think and dream bigger – to act in ways that far exceed their own expectations. In doing this, the team witnesses the power of goal setting. Team members, start developing their own personal goals. They start planning. They develop their own visions, missions and dreams and thus future leaders are born!

References:

Ramsey, D. (2011). EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches. New York: Howard Books.

Taplin, S.H., Foster, M.K., Shortell, S.M. (2013). Organizational Leadership For Building Effective Healthcare Teams. Annals of Family Medicine. 11(30). pp. 279 – 281.